I'm going to try and do some catching up from the past couple of months. Here are some of the many, many pictures I took at the beach for Wyatt's birthday. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE the beach??? Well, I love it!!! If I had the choice to go anywhere in the world it would be to a beach. I love everything about it. There is also great symbolism for me in the waves. I've talked many times about that symbolism with grief and the journey I've been on that past 2 1/2 years but it's also a place where I think of Wyatt.
We went to the beach when I was pregnant with Wyatt. We also went to the beach as a family a week after Wyatt's funeral. And we've been back a couple of other times since then. I feel that time spent at the beach rejuvenates me and helps me along the journey of life. I love the feel of the sand on my feet, the smells, sounds, sun, sunsets, different colors of the water, the calming affect I feel from listening to the waves. I could go on and on...I love pretty much everything about it. Hence the million pictures I took.
I dream of the day when we get to raise Wyatt and take him to the beach. To watch him run from the waves, build a sand castle and knock it down while laughing, and taking a nap next to his daddy. I can't wait for those dreams to become a reality because I do believe they will become a reality someday and they will be some of the most wonderful days of our existence.
Throughout our trip for Wyatt's birthday I felt a reassurance that what we were doing was pleasing to him. I guess I needed that reassurance. A week before leaving I thought I was making a big mistake but while watching the kids enjoy themselves at Disneyland, the beach, the balloon release, at the pool and out for Cheesecake for Wyatt's birthday cake I knew he was happy that his family was having such a good time together. Those memories are something I think we will never forget. I also loved that Wyatt was the main focus of everything we were doing. His name was mentioned over and over again...like he was right there with us(which I believe he was). It did my aching heart good. I felt like he was proud of his little family and the progress we continue to make. I could imagine his smiling face as he watched his family laugh and enjoy each other and celebrate his life. It was definitely a week we will never forget.
Emily's sand castle
Hayley enjoying the last of the sunset.
Hayley snuggled up to her dad taking a nap. The beach can be so tiring. Especially when you don't stop running for hours and hours. :)
Hayley's sand castle
Tyler built this sand/city for Wyatt. Every time we go to the beach Tyler builds a sand city. This year he did it in memory of his little brother. It was his birthday gift to him. He worked for hours on it. Oh, how he would give anything in this world to have his little brother there with him building it. Sometimes reality is hard to accept. My heart aches for my sweet Tyler and for the HUGE, HUGE, loss he has had to face at such a young age. I still to this day can not talk about it without crying. It breaks my heart about as much as anything else. Tyler prayed so hard to have a little brother and then to have him taken so soon when he didn't get to do all those things he dreamed of doing is heart wrenching. I hope in some way it will be made up to him someday. And, yes I'm crying right now as I type about it. I don't know if there will ever come a day when I won't cry about this tender subject.
Tyler spent hours skim boarding. Hayley and Emily tried it out but never really got the hang of it...it's harder than it looks.
Hayley LOVED chasing the seagulls which were everywhere so she spent A LOT of time running around, chasing and making a bird noises to scare them off.
I love seeing the joy in their faces as they play at the beach.
I'm so glad my kids and husband love the beach as much as I do.
Emily dancing as the sun sets...love it! Can life get any better?