Sunday, October 31, 2010


I'm going to try and do some catching up from the past couple of months. Here are some of the many, many pictures I took at the beach for Wyatt's birthday. Have I mentioned how much I LOVE the beach??? Well, I love it!!! If I had the choice to go anywhere in the world it would be to a beach. I love everything about it. There is also great symbolism for me in the waves. I've talked many times about that symbolism with grief and the journey I've been on that past 2 1/2 years but it's also a place where I think of Wyatt.

We went to the beach when I was pregnant with Wyatt. We also went to the beach as a family a week after Wyatt's funeral. And we've been back a couple of other times since then. I feel that time spent at the beach rejuvenates me and helps me along the journey of life. I love the feel of the sand on my feet, the smells, sounds, sun, sunsets, different colors of the water, the calming affect I feel from listening to the waves. I could go on and on...I love pretty much everything about it. Hence the million pictures I took.

I dream of the day when we get to raise Wyatt and take him to the beach. To watch him run from the waves, build a sand castle and knock it down while laughing, and taking a nap next to his daddy. I can't wait for those dreams to become a reality because I do believe they will become a reality someday and they will be some of the most wonderful days of our existence.

Throughout our trip for Wyatt's birthday I felt a reassurance that what we were doing was pleasing to him. I guess I needed that reassurance. A week before leaving I thought I was making a big mistake but while watching the kids enjoy themselves at Disneyland, the beach, the balloon release, at the pool and out for Cheesecake for Wyatt's birthday cake I knew he was happy that his family was having such a good time together. Those memories are something I think we will never forget. I also loved that Wyatt was the main focus of everything we were doing. His name was mentioned over and over he was right there with us(which I believe he was). It did my aching heart good. I felt like he was proud of his little family and the progress we continue to make. I could imagine his smiling face as he watched his family laugh and enjoy each other and celebrate his life. It was definitely a week we will never forget.

We love you Wyatt!!

Emily's sand castle

Hayley enjoying the last of the sunset.

Hayley snuggled up to her dad taking a nap. The beach can be so tiring. Especially when you don't stop running for hours and hours. :)

Hayley's sand castle

Tyler built this sand/city for Wyatt. Every time we go to the beach Tyler builds a sand city. This year he did it in memory of his little brother. It was his birthday gift to him. He worked for hours on it. Oh, how he would give anything in this world to have his little brother there with him building it. Sometimes reality is hard to accept. My heart aches for my sweet Tyler and for the HUGE, HUGE, loss he has had to face at such a young age. I still to this day can not talk about it without crying. It breaks my heart about as much as anything else. Tyler prayed so hard to have a little brother and then to have him taken so soon when he didn't get to do all those things he dreamed of doing is heart wrenching. I hope in some way it will be made up to him someday. And, yes I'm crying right now as I type about it. I don't know if there will ever come a day when I won't cry about this tender subject.

Tyler spent hours skim boarding. Hayley and Emily tried it out but never really got the hang of's harder than it looks.

Hayley LOVED chasing the seagulls which were everywhere so she spent A LOT of time running around, chasing and making a bird noises to scare them off.

I love seeing the joy in their faces as they play at the beach.

I'm so glad my kids and husband love the beach as much as I do.
Emily dancing as the sun it! Can life get any better?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Pound the Pavement for Parenthood

My niece has a webpage up and running for the 5k race I talked about in a previous blog post. Click HERE to find out more information about "Pound the Pavement for Parenthood."

Monday, October 25, 2010

Fall/Fall Break

I have so much to catch up on from the past couple of months. I'm been so busy doing THIS along with all the many things the kids are involved in that blogging has not been a top priority. We have had some fun weeks with lots of activities. One of the highlights being Fall break where Derek's family came to stay. We did lots of hiking, some swimming and enjoying each others company. It definitely wasn't long enough for us. It's always such a wonderful thing when we can spend time with family. The kids thoroughly enjoyed their cousins and hated seeing them go. I regret that I didn't take any pictures but it was also nice just to enjoy our time without a camera.
I'm hoping this week will give me some extra time to catch up on all the other things I need to blog about. I took these pictures a couple of days ago. Though all the leaves on our trees are still pretty green there is a hint of fall in some of them. I saw these and had to take some pictures. Love the different seasons even though it is hard for me to see summer go. I have a special love for leaves and the beauty they bring into my life. They definitely have been a tender mercy to me the past couple of years. Sometimes I get so busy doing all the many things that life requires that I have to sometimes consciously stop and enjoy the beauties around me. So glad I took the few minutes last week to enjoy these in our back yard.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

"Pound the Pavement for Parenthood"-5k run

I have an amazing niece that has done so many wonderful things for me since Wyatt's death. She is the one that took the pictures of my kids with butterflies, she invited everyone in my family to write about their thoughts and feelings during Wyatt's last week here and then gave them to me(which I cherish about as much as my own kids...they will be something I will always keep close to me so I can read over and over again), she has supported the IHH walk every year and has been there for me to talk, cry and get all the ugly emotions out. She has done so much for me and has been so supportive of me and I will be forever grateful to her for that.

Well, she has been battling her own battle... that of infertility. She has always LOVED babies. So, this challenge that she has had to face for years now has been especially difficult. My heart has ached for her and what she goes through each day. Well, she has a plan now and I'm so excited for the hope it brings her but she needs lots of money for this new plan. I want to help out in any way I can so I thought I could at least get the word out about some of the fundraisers she is putting together. So, if there is anyone out there that is still reading this blog that lives in Utah County or if there is someone out there that wants to donate to a good cause click here to go to my nieces blog that has all the information about the up coming bake sale, garage sale and 5k run. Her e-mail address is on the side if you have any questions or you can e-mail me at She is also an incredible photographer and she is giving discounts for if you need some pictures taken she will do an awesome job. Click here for her photography site and the deals she is giving right now. Please support her if you can in anyway possible. I want this for her sooooo much!
Love you Jill and are going to be such AMAZING parents. I look forward to that day!

Aren't they such a cute couple?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Balloon release

We did our balloon release at the beach this year for Wyatt's birthday.

Some of us wrote love notes to Wyatt and then we sent them up to in the air.

We love you Wyatt and we will always miss you! Happy Birthday sweet boy.

We also did our "No Empty Chairs" box and wrote down the present we were giving Wyatt. Something we are going to work on this year to help us make it back to him.