Monday, February 1, 2010

Apron and a couple of Christmas things


I received this DARLING apron in the mail from the amazing Summer Driggs. She makes all the fun scrapbook paper for free. She also is the one that dedicated the "Ring it in kit" to me and Wyatt. So, so sweet of her. Her mom passed away 3 years ago and when she read about Wyatt and the butterflies she sent me this apron. Her mom collected aprons which makes this apron that much more special. If you notice there are also butterflies on the darling fabric. I LOVE this apron. I think of Summer, her mom and Wyatt each time I put it on. Thank you Summer...what a tender mercy for me. Thank you for your generosity!

Wyatt's grave this past Christmas.
In November the cemetery took away everything that was on Wyatt's grave and threw it in the garbage a week before they said they would. I was not happy to say the least. I cried when I saw it. Many of the things on his grave were from friends and family and they meant so much to us. Also, I had some things on there that I had spent some money on that I wanted to have for a long time. We just can't afford to buy more stuff. I couldn't handle having his grave with nothing on it though. So, thanks to All a dollar we were able to go as a family for family night and pick out some stuff for his grave. We had the Christmas tree from last year but were able to get a few other things. I still can't believe the cemetery. We knew they would be clearing the graves but to do it a week before they posted it was not right. We tried to complain but weren't able to get a hold of the guy...I guess we weren't the only ones upset. Anyway, still can't believe I even have a purpose to write about this. Wish we didn't know what we know about the cemetery!


I want to quickly post about our experience with "The Forgotten Carols." Derek and I had the opportunity to go to the Forgotten Carols for the first time. We have listened to the music for years and LOVE it. So, this year when we heard it was coming to our town we decided to get tickets. I'm so glad we did. It was amazing! The best part for me though was at the end when Michael McLean came out and sang "Together Forever." I had no idea he did that. That song is the last song on Wyatt's video...it means so much to us. I was of course in tears thinking of Wyatt. Then Michael McLean started talking about those loved ones that have gone to the other side and he asked us to sing to them. The spirit was so strong. I sang to Wyatt and I'm sure Derek did too. I know Wyatt was there with us. I could feel his love. I look forward to the day when we will be Together Forever. It was such a neat and emotional experience. I'm so grateful for beautiful music and for those that have been gifted to create it for us to enjoy.
So grateful for yet another tender mercy in my life.

7 comments:

Bridget said...

What a beautiful tribute - at the cemetery and in concert. Yesterday, I went to Evan's grave and got his Christmas tree. I forgot that it was there...I haven't been there in a few weeks. It's living and we'll bring it back next year.

Your post serves as a reminder about how great our cemetery is. I didn't know that until reading several posts by various angel families. I don't think any of us really asks the right questions when choosing a cemetery. I don't think we think about what we may want to bring to the grave. What we may want to plant next to it. Even down to what kind of headstone do we want and if the cemetery will accept that. We don't understand grieving, especially our own. So really, our choices for a cemetery are a crap shoot.

I'm not sure our cemetery takes down anything away from the graves. I've always been the one to take stuff away from Evan's. When we were making arrangements for the headstone and walking about the cemetery, the customer service lady/caretaker told us very seriously that they look at anything on the graves as next to sacred and they looked at those who stole things from them as lower than low. Apparently, people come to "look" at graves and take whatever items on them that they want. Who knew? Anyway, I think that our people take that further to include themselves and grave clearing. I do think they take away dead flowers, though.

Best wishes. Make your complaint in writing. Sending a bill for replacement value may be effective, too. Not that they'd necessarily pay it, but they'd know that next time they'd better wait until the proper time to do their clearing out.

Solid D said...

Andrea-
You are an amazing woman to me. I can't comprehend the heart ache of loosing a loved one, but I comprehend the loss in a different sort of way. Each day I mourn the loss of me, because of experiences as a child. I am so thankful for your sharing and I hope that you don't feel like I am minimizing your grief. I just get it.
I love the forgotten carols. We take our children to see every other year. You are right with the spirit being so POWERFUL and STRONG! I love it.
Hang in there.
Love
Stephanie

Solid D said...

Andrea-
You are an amazing woman to me. I can't comprehend the heart ache of loosing a loved one, but I comprehend the loss in a different sort of way. Each day I mourn the loss of me, because of experiences as a child. I am so thankful for your sharing and I hope that you don't feel like I am minimizing your grief. I just get it.
I love the forgotten carols. We take our children to see every other year. You are right with the spirit being so POWERFUL and STRONG! I love it.
Hang in there.
Love
Stephanie

janalee said...

I agree- you really need to get across to this supervisor? manager? person how absolutely unacceptable his behavior has been.
:)I like the idea of an itemized bill for replacement of the items they took. And, I think you should definitely send him a letter, and maybe find out who owns the cemetery and send them a copy as well. Sometimes owners make decisions [like cleaning early] based on money, and forget they're dealing with people's grief.

I am so glad you got to enjoy the Christmas Carols. And your new gift- the butterfly apron- is both beautiful and appropriate. :)

Janalee

~plaid said...

We've had interesting experiences with the cemetery, but I have been so grateful for the difference in our results. They took some of the things we'd placed for Dominic and they were in the trash. I drove up and the cemetery worker was actually there, so I asked him about where those things had gone. The one thing in particular was a little rock with a frog engraved into it. My husband had lost his job, and though it was only worth less than $5, it was all we could do at that time. It meant a lot to me because we had also bought an identical one to keep at home (Dominic's nickname was "froggy"). Anyway, the worker told me maybe it had been tossed in the dumpster, so I went over there to see if I could see it. I moved a few things around, but just didn't have the capacity to dig in there and find it. I was SO discouraged! Then the cemetery worker jumped into the dumpster. He started digging around a lot, and trying to find it, but he just didn't see it. He did find some things that had been there, so we knew that it was probably in there but we weren't having luck. I went home so upset, but grateful he had tried so hard to help! The next time I went down (I think it was the next day), there was the rock! The cemetery worker had actually kept digging through the dumpster after I left until he found it. He had put it back, because he could see how much it meant to me. I have been so grateful ever since to think that my little ones' final resting places are being watched over by such a caring person.

Larsen said...

I've been thinking of you lately. I haven't had much time to even look at blogs (thankfully:) But I wanted you to know what an amazing person you are, truly. You exemplify Christ in so many aspects. Thank you for being you!

Michelle
Gavin's Mom

Alison said...

Dear Andrea

You deserve all the tender moments in the world, I am so glad for your sweet experience at the concert.

It is really sad that the management of a cemetery can be so insensitive and heartless. To visit the grave of a person's child is a heartbreaking experience under the best of circumstances. How people do these terrible things that they know will cause a bereaved parent to feel additional upset, loss and unhappiness is beyond me.

Please will you email me your postal address to me(alison.starbuck@gmail.com)?
I would love to send something from South Africa for Wyatt.

Thinking of you and keeping you and your lovely family in my prayers. Always.

Hugs
Alison