Monday, October 26, 2009

5K, Halloween Party

This past Saturday Tyler and I ran our first 5k. Tyler did awesome and won first place in his age division and 10th place overall in the men's division. I'm so proud of him.

I'm not much of a long distance runner but since Wyatt died it's been something that has helped me cope in a way. During those early months of grief I would force myself to go on a walk and to get out of the house each day. That slowly lead to running more and more. I kind of enjoyed having some physical pain instead of the constant emotional pain I've felt..if that makes sense. It also doesn't hurt to get as many happy endorphins as I possibly can get.

This past summer since the sun would come up so early in the morning I had a hard time sleeping in so I would get up and go running. I love music and being able to listen to music while running has been a good thing for me. It truly has brought moments of joy, peace and comfort to my soul when I thought I would never feel that again. And then there are those songs that brings on the pain, sorrow and grief, which I feel is a good thing as well.

Most every morning I would start my run by going to Wyatt's grave. There is a hill before you reach the cemetery..not a big one but big enough to make my legs burn and for me to want to walk but I would tell myself that I could do it. That I can run up that hill. I would liken it to this lives journey. It hurts, it's hard but I've got to do it. Each step and each day is that much closer to having Wyatt in my life again. I then tell myself that I'm strong and can do it. That the reward(having Wyatt again) will be worth it. And then I dream of the day when that climb is over and he is in my arms again. Oh, it will be so awesome!

I then end up at Wyatt's grave. I will spend a moment or two grieving and getting some of those emotions out and then I would run and cry and listen to music that touches my heart. Some days I have more emotions to get out and other days not as much. Since the kids started school and it's gotten a little colder I haven't run as much so I was pleasantly surprised when I ran this 5k that I felt good. I didn't feel like I needed to stop and walk at all. I ran the whole way and actually had energy at the end to pick up my speed. It was quit fun and thrilling to go across the finish line. It was fun to have Derek and the girls and Tyler there cheering me on. This might be a new passion for me...we will see. If anything it's been something that I've needed to do since Wyatt died. I have forced myself out the door on many, many occasion when I really didn't want to. There is something that is good about getting a little exercise, breathing the fresh air and enjoying this beautiful earth that helps with my grief. On many of my runs I've had butterflies flying in front of me or by me. I feel like Wyatt has been by my side. I know he is here with me while I go through this life of grief. He is on the other side cheering his mom on. I feel like he is one of my biggest fans.

Tyler and I after the race.

Halloween Party
Saturday night we went to an amazing Halloween party. Derek and I dressed up at Harry Potter and Ginny Wesley. Thanks Mitch for letting us use your Harry Potter stuff. Here is the picture Tyler took. It was a fun evening with great friends, food and games. My sweet friend that puts this together does an incredible job each year. We are so blessed with great people in our lives.


Marc and Megan said...

Way to go, Andrea!! That is so awesome! And, I'm sure that Tyler loved doing something special like that with you. I have found the same renewal in physical exercise. Riding my bike and running have done so much to help me through my grieving. Maybe in a year or two we could do the St. George marathon together!

Jill said...

Love this post. I totally agree about running. I think it's a way to deal with emotion. It gives you time to think, feel, and appreciate all at the same time. Good for you! Good for Ty! I'd love to run in that relay with you some year. Wouldn't that be cool?! the Halloween costumes. :)

Jen said...

You guys are such studs! I wish Ben and Tyler could run together, and me and you! Way to go!

Alison said...

Well done! You might just inspire me to try and do the same. I used to run long distances before Daniel so it is really something that I will consider.

...In the mean time, go for it! I look forward to hear about your first 10km race :)

Love and hugs x x x

Natalie said...

That's awesome Andrea and Tyler! I'm glad you have such a healthy way to release emotion. Maybe I should try that. Love all the pictures. You and Derek looked great!