Tuesday, June 30, 2009


When I'm having a hard day or one of those longing moments to hold my little boy again I will often go to the side bar on our blog and read some of those favorite quotes I love. This is the one I read today. I'm grateful for understanding and comforting words such as these.

"Parents who have surrendered the sweetest and smallest flowers from the
family's garden need to remember our Heavenly Father. He has promised a special
reward to those who now suffer in silence, who spend long days and longer nights
through their trying times of bereavement. Our Creator has promised glory. He
said, "For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh
that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but nigh at
hand." (D&C 58:4) That promised glory includes the blessing of reunion with
each child who has left the family circle to help surviving members of the
family to draw nearer to God. Those children still live and are a heritage to
the Lord."

Russel M. Nelson

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day to some amazing men in my life. The above picture is one of my most favorite pictures I have of Wyatt. My parents were able to live by us during Wyatt's short life so they got many opportunities to hold him. I love this one of Wyatt sleeping so peacefully upon his grandpa's shoulder. I'm so grateful for my father and all he has done for me. For the wonderful example of being a hard worker, loving, kind and so faithful. He is so amazing and I feel so blessed to call him my father.
I'm also so grateful for Derek's father. He is the most kind, gentle and fun loving persons I know. I wish so badly I had a better picture with Wyatt and Derek's dad. There are so many pictures I wish I had. This one below was taken when Wyatt was blessed and Emily was baptized. The last picture is a picture of my sweet husband whom I feel so blessed to have in my life. I'm so grateful that he is the father of each of my children. He is the best dad and husband. And of course on this fathers day I'm extremely grateful to my Heavenly Father for all the tender mercies he sends my way. Happy Father's day to some incredible men in my life.
I love each of you!
Derek with his parents.

My dad holding Wyatt the day he was born.

The proud father. He simply adored his little "Rope".

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Happy Birthday Luke!

This balloon caught my eye along with Hayley's eyes. It is a little girlish but we just had to add a butterfly to our balloon release for Luke.

Emily was at a charity bake sale with her friend.
Today we released balloons in memory of Luke. He would be 2 years old today. I met his mom through the angel heart group about 1 or 2 months after Wyatt died. She has been one of the greatest blessings I've received since Wyatt's passing. I do not feel like it was some coincidence that we came into contact with each other. I truly feel like Heavenly Father knew I needed someone that would understand me so well and he blessed me with a kindred spirit. Though we have not yet met in person I feel like I've known her my whole life. We have so much in common. Many of the same emotions and feelings I've been through this past year she has also been through. We just think a lot alike and connected the instant we got in contact with each other. Along with our boys dying we have also been through some hard financial times. It's been a comfort for me to know that I'm not the only one having to go through 2 VERY hard trials. Our children are all around the same ages as well and she even miscarried the same year as I did. I truly don't know where I would be today without her. We make contact with each other almost daily. It has been such a great blessing as I've gone through this year and 3 months of grief to have someone that truly understands me and what I'm feeling and going through. Someone I can confide in and know that she does understand. She is so wise, loving and simply amazing. She has helped me through some of the darkest and worst moments of this past year and I will be forever grateful to her for that. It's been a comfort to me and also my children to know that there is another family though they live far away, that are facing the daily grief and heartache that we are experiencing.
Today I felt a need to honor sweet Luke and tell his family how grateful we are that they have come into our lives. We decided to release some balloons up to heaven for Luke. So, Luke's family we are thinking of you today and praying for you. We hope you have felt comforted on this day. We know all too well how hard these days can be but do know we love you and are thinking of you. We look forward to the day that we actually get to meet in person so we can give you a great big hug. I also look forward to the day when I get to see my kindred spirit hold her sweet little Luke in her arms. There will be many tears....this time it will be tears of joy. It truly will be a glorious and wonderful day!
A star for Luke.

Happy Birthday Luke...how grateful I am for your momma!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Newport Beach

We made our usual sandcastle and decided to include Wyatt in it...at least his name.
We just got back from a wonderful and relaxing vacation in California. It made it that much more wonderful being able to spend it with family. Most of my family was there except for a few. Those that weren't there we missed you. Newport is a place we have spent quite a few vacations at and we continue to LOVE it. We went to Newport when I was pregnant with Wyatt and right after he passed away. So there are some bittersweet memories there.
I find such peace and beauty in the ocean and I feel so blessed that we have had so many opportunities to enjoy it. I'm so grateful for the memories we have been able to make with family. Thank you mom and Dad for an amazing week. We had the opportunity to go to the Newport Temple and do a session. I'm so grateful we took the time to do that. It's an amazingly beautiful temple inside and the spirit of course was very strong. Tyler was able to go and do baptisms with his older cousins at the temple. I'm sure that will be a memory he will not forget. We spent a day at Disneyland, went to a Dodgers game and the rest of the time we spent relaxing by the pool or at the beach. Derek celebrated his birthday while there and got his own Cheesecake factory key lime cheesecake…his favorite.
The beach is a place I’ve always loved. I love watching the waves as they come crashing into the shore. I especially love the white brightness next to the beautiful blue water. I will have to admit I missed our Wyatt each and everyday wondering if he would enjoy each of the things we did. It's so hard for me to experience these fun moments as a family when one member isn't there experiencing them with us. I know he would have loved Disneyland along with the beach and swimming. On our way home we were blessed with yet another amazing shooting star....so bright and beautiful. I so grateful for each and every tender mercy that is shown my way. Here are a bunch of pictures we took. As you can tell I enjoy taking lots of pictures. I forgot my camera many days but I sure made up for it on the days I remembered it. I know my niece has pictures of the whole group at different places and I look forward to seeing them. Now I'm trying to overcome the grief that seems to always hit me when I get home from a vacation. My heart and arms ache not having Wyatt in my life. It's just very, very hard!

Hayley with her cousin Addie playing office with the hotel phones. Cousin fun at Disneyland! I do not have any pictures of Tyler at Disneyland because he was off with the teenagers.

Swimming fun.The BeachTyler was not with us this day at the beach because he was off with his older cousins at 6 flags having the time of his life.Pure JOY dancing at the beach. Tyler learned how to skim board and LOVED it! He skim boarded all day long.Emily chillin' with her cousin Amanda.Hayley being buried in the sand by Larry and Amanda.Hayley chillin' with her Dad.I just LOVE these beautiful waves...just breathtaking.

Some beautiful California flowers.

I just needed to add a picture of our little guy...oh, how we miss you Wyatt!