Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentines Day

Valentines 2008

Let's just say this Valentines day started out with lots of tears. Not necessarily over Wyatt but over some really disappointing things that I won't go into detail about here. Life can just be plain hard!
The evening though turned out to be a very special one. We went to one of the most amazing Valentines parties ever. Our sweet friends put on the greatest parties each year and we feel so blessed to be a part of it. It was a very special night for Derek and I as always.
Last year Wyatt went with us to the Valentines party. It was hard this year to look back at a year ago and remember every detail of that night and to now think he is gone. Those are some of the last memories I really have of Wyatt...the everyday ordinary days all seemed to blend together but this night was one to remember. I remember every detail of that night down to the sweater Wyatt was wearing, shoes he wore, feeding him and holding him... every little detail of that night is engraved into my mind. Wyatt started to fuss at his usual time of 8:30pm and was ready for his bath. As you can tell from some of these pictures he didn't want to sit and take pictures. He had a different plan that included a bath and one on one time with his mommy. I'm so grateful for those memories and for our sweet friends for creating those memories. They will always be ones I will cherish. I had no idea a year ago that I would only have one more month with my baby.
I'm not looking forward to that week in March when Wyatt died because after that I will not be able to say a year ago Wyatt was in our life...I will just have the memories of all the heartache and grief of last year. It's beyond hard! With that said I will have memories of all the sweet tender mercies from my loving Heavenly Father and for the many earth angels that have helped me through the most difficult year of my life.
My friend Gillian just made it through Zachary's angel day. She put some quotes on her blog that I loved. This one was one I hadn't heard before and I needed to hear it yesterday and today.

"The gift of resurrection is the Lord’s consummate act of healing. Thanks to
Him, each body will be restored to its proper and perfect frame. Thanks to Him,
no condition is hopeless. Thanks to Him, brighter days are ahead, both here and
hereafter. Real joy awaits each of us—on the other side of sorrow."
(Russell M. Nelson)
I loved that quote. I love anything that gives me hope for the future and especially I love any quote that pertains to Resurrection day. No condition is hopeless..real joy awaits each of us on the other side of sorrow. Love those words.
Another great quote:
"The cavity which suffering carves into our souls will one day also be the receptacle of joy."
(Neal A. Maxwell)
Can't wait for that day!


Marc and Megan said...

Andrea, there are some moments that are just so hard, huh? The memories that were once so sweet now seem to only sting with sadness and pain. People keep telling me that one day that there won't be any more sting and our memories will be sweet again. I hope for that day. In the meantime, we'll trudge through this swamp of pain and heartache... and you'll always have a friend by your side. Wyatt is such a blessed boy to have you as his Mommy. I love these photos of him - he is such a handsome little guy. love ya!

The Erbes said...

Andrea, I can't even begin to imagine the pain that you must feel eveyday. You are an amazing women. I wish that it was easy enough to say some encourage words or even help bear the sorrow you feel. But I know that it is not. Know that I am thinking of both you and Wyatt and pray that the pain you feel everyday gets a little easier to bear. You are in our prayers always. Your kids are so lucky to have a mother who loves them so much. You really are an amazingly strong women.

Karen said...

He is so beautiful.

Karen said...

sorry, i'm logged in under my mother in law. It's Michelle, Gavin's mom

Teea Lamb said...

What a beautiful baby! I love when you post pictures of him. The "one year ago" thoughts are so hard for me. I know what you mean. And just like you said, some events, I can just remember every detail. And while I'm grateful for those memories, they are hard sometimes to deal with. I, like you, am not looking forward to Kynslee's angel day. You said it perfectly, then it won't just be a year ago that everything was happening. It will be further away. It just hurts to know that life has to go on, even without her. Thanks for the quotes. I really enjoyed them. And thanks for the reminder that Heavenly Father does give us tender moments that help, support and encourage. I really love your insights. Thanks for sharing. Hope you are doing well.

Natalie said...

Oh Andrea, You are so strong. Really, I don't know how you do it. Wyatt is so lucky to have you as a mom. He is so sweet and cute. I just love seeing pictures of him. I love the quotes you put in this post. Such wonderful faith and hope, you are such a good example to me. Love you lots!

neener said...

Thinking of you today. I haven't been blogging much lately either. I have been thinking of you and pray you and your family are alright. Wishing we could be closer. Take care of yourself and your sweet children. Sending you lots of cyber loves and hugs.

Linda Pickles said...

Just wanted to say "hi" and tell you I love you.
The quote by Elder Nelson was a good one for all of us to remember.
My prayers are with you.

Gillian said...

Thank you Andrea---you have been one of my earth angels this past year. I understand every word, and I'm not ready either to stop saying "last year..."
I'm so glad you had these special Valentine memories of Wyatt---and that you're recording them. I know all too well how memories can fade. You're an amazing mother in EVERY way!