Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thanksgiving was hard. I'm not going to go into detail on it but lets just say it was hard not having Wyatt with us. It was good to be with family and I'm so grateful for them and for the time we got to spend with them. I'm also grateful for the time I got to spend with my sweet friend Robyn.
On our way home from Thanksgiving I was crying and wishing so bad Wyatt was still with us. I was looking out my window and I saw a shooting star. Now, I need to go back to this summer to explain some events that happened then. We went camping a lot this summer just to get away. Every time we went I would see a shooting star. I wondered at the time if Wyatt may have something to do with it. I thought it was rather strange that I would see one each time we went but thought maybe I was just noticing things more. Which, I think I do but still I can't remember in my life seeing so many shooting stars. Well, after seeing this one outside my window in my mind I said to Wyatt (I do this a lot....I talk to Wyatt. I've asked other moms that have lost their kids if they do that and they say they do so maybe I'm not too crazy) I said to him "Wyatt if you had something to do with that shooting star let me know by letting me see another one. I would know then that you are aware and that these things do have meaning." I thought in my mind this will be a test to see if that was meant to happen or if it was just by chance. I thought how often do you see 2 shooting stars in one night as you are driving. I know I never have seen that before.
Well, about 2 hours went by and I had pretty much given up and wasn't even thinking about it anymore. When all the sudden right in front of our car the most brilliant and most amazing shooting star arched starting at Derek's side of the car and finishing on mine. It was something that could not go unnoticed. I wish my kids would have been awake because I don't think they could have missed it either--it was that neat. I've never been that close to a shooting star before in my life. It's hard to describe how awesome it was. Derek commented on how he has never in his life seen such an amazing shooting star that lasted so long and was soooooo bright. To have Derek comment like that showed that it was an unmistakable occurrence and something amazing. It was almost like a big roman candle firework. In fact I thought it was going to hit the earth and blow up but it diminished right before doing that. It was simply amazing. That is all I have to say. I know that Wyatt had something to do with it. Maybe Heavenly Father made it happen but I believe Wyatt was letting us know that he is still aware and loves and misses us too. So I call it our Thanksgiving miracle. I'm so grateful for this amazing sweet tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father. Yes, I wish I didn't need these experiences because I would so much rather have Wyatt here physically but I'm grateful for anything that makes me feel my little boy close. I know Heavenly Father loves each one of us. I'm grateful for sweet tender mercies and for all the many "Wyatt moments" I've received in the last 8 months.
The next morning I woke up and went into Wyatt's room and laid on the couch. I looked at his hutch and noticed all the stars I had on it. Before this time they were just decorations with not much meaning to them but now they mean so much more. At that moment I decided I needed to put up a Christmas tree in Wyatt's room. I didn't plan on doing anything like that in memory of Wyatt. Maybe because thinking about Christmas before getting through Thanksgiving was just too much for me but as I laid there and looked at the stars in his room I felt like I needed to put a tree up in memory of him. Last January I was shopping with my cousin and Wyatt. We found a great deal on these little metal stars. I bought a bunch thinking I could use them on our Christmas tree this year or at the time I thought I could use them in Wyatt's room. Little did I know that I would be using them on a tree in memory of him.
This is something that's hard for me to do because I feel like so many wonderful people have been so good to us this year that I hate to ask for anything more but I need to. We would love it if any of you would like to add an ornament to Wyatt's tree. I have to think how neat it would be each year to get these ornaments out and remember the amazing people that have touched our life's. To feel the deep gratitude we have for each person that has lifted us up during one of the hardest years of our life. So if you would like to add an ornament to Wyatt's tree you can e-mail me at email@example.com or just leave a comment or if you know our address you can just send it. There is nothing specific that I'm wanting just what you might think is special. Thanks Michelle for giving me that idea months ago and thanks Robyn for putting it back into my head. And I'm grateful for the spirit for helping know what I need to do to help heal our little family. I think next year we might look into doing a tree in memory of Wyatt for the festival of trees. This year I just need to try and make it through another holiday without my baby.
I'm so grateful for the new meaning I have with stars but I'm most grateful for the star that shown brightly so many years ago signifying the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. Because of him I have hope...hope that I will have an eternity with my little boy creating wonderful memories.
Posted by Andrea at 9:50 PM