Tuesday, December 2, 2008

"The Wyatt Tree/Stars"


Thanksgiving was hard. I'm not going to go into detail on it but lets just say it was hard not having Wyatt with us. It was good to be with family and I'm so grateful for them and for the time we got to spend with them. I'm also grateful for the time I got to spend with my sweet friend Robyn.
On our way home from Thanksgiving I was crying and wishing so bad Wyatt was still with us. I was looking out my window and I saw a shooting star. Now, I need to go back to this summer to explain some events that happened then. We went camping a lot this summer just to get away. Every time we went I would see a shooting star. I wondered at the time if Wyatt may have something to do with it. I thought it was rather strange that I would see one each time we went but thought maybe I was just noticing things more. Which, I think I do but still I can't remember in my life seeing so many shooting stars. Well, after seeing this one outside my window in my mind I said to Wyatt (I do this a lot....I talk to Wyatt. I've asked other moms that have lost their kids if they do that and they say they do so maybe I'm not too crazy) I said to him "Wyatt if you had something to do with that shooting star let me know by letting me see another one. I would know then that you are aware and that these things do have meaning." I thought in my mind this will be a test to see if that was meant to happen or if it was just by chance. I thought how often do you see 2 shooting stars in one night as you are driving. I know I never have seen that before.
Well, about 2 hours went by and I had pretty much given up and wasn't even thinking about it anymore. When all the sudden right in front of our car the most brilliant and most amazing shooting star arched starting at Derek's side of the car and finishing on mine. It was something that could not go unnoticed. I wish my kids would have been awake because I don't think they could have missed it either--it was that neat. I've never been that close to a shooting star before in my life. It's hard to describe how awesome it was. Derek commented on how he has never in his life seen such an amazing shooting star that lasted so long and was soooooo bright. To have Derek comment like that showed that it was an unmistakable occurrence and something amazing. It was almost like a big roman candle firework. In fact I thought it was going to hit the earth and blow up but it diminished right before doing that. It was simply amazing. That is all I have to say. I know that Wyatt had something to do with it. Maybe Heavenly Father made it happen but I believe Wyatt was letting us know that he is still aware and loves and misses us too. So I call it our Thanksgiving miracle. I'm so grateful for this amazing sweet tender mercy from a loving Heavenly Father. Yes, I wish I didn't need these experiences because I would so much rather have Wyatt here physically but I'm grateful for anything that makes me feel my little boy close. I know Heavenly Father loves each one of us. I'm grateful for sweet tender mercies and for all the many "Wyatt moments" I've received in the last 8 months.

The next morning I woke up and went into Wyatt's room and laid on the couch. I looked at his hutch and noticed all the stars I had on it. Before this time they were just decorations with not much meaning to them but now they mean so much more. At that moment I decided I needed to put up a Christmas tree in Wyatt's room. I didn't plan on doing anything like that in memory of Wyatt. Maybe because thinking about Christmas before getting through Thanksgiving was just too much for me but as I laid there and looked at the stars in his room I felt like I needed to put a tree up in memory of him. Last January I was shopping with my cousin and Wyatt. We found a great deal on these little metal stars. I bought a bunch thinking I could use them on our Christmas tree this year or at the time I thought I could use them in Wyatt's room. Little did I know that I would be using them on a tree in memory of him.

This is something that's hard for me to do because I feel like so many wonderful people have been so good to us this year that I hate to ask for anything more but I need to. We would love it if any of you would like to add an ornament to Wyatt's tree. I have to think how neat it would be each year to get these ornaments out and remember the amazing people that have touched our life's. To feel the deep gratitude we have for each person that has lifted us up during one of the hardest years of our life. So if you would like to add an ornament to Wyatt's tree you can e-mail me at andrealarsen2002@yahoo.com or just leave a comment or if you know our address you can just send it. There is nothing specific that I'm wanting just what you might think is special. Thanks Michelle for giving me that idea months ago and thanks Robyn for putting it back into my head. And I'm grateful for the spirit for helping know what I need to do to help heal our little family. I think next year we might look into doing a tree in memory of Wyatt for the festival of trees. This year I just need to try and make it through another holiday without my baby.

I'm so grateful for the new meaning I have with stars but I'm most grateful for the star that shown brightly so many years ago signifying the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. Because of him I have hope...hope that I will have an eternity with my little boy creating wonderful memories.

14 comments:

Robyn said...

Andrea-
You are so amazing!! Wyatt's tree is beautiful. Everything you touch is beautiful! (Could you come do my house?) I can't wait to see all the many ornaments you recieve. Be sure to blog them all! I love you!

Krainich Family said...

Bless your heart Andrea. The firsts are always the hardest. I hope that you can find some comfort in your Wyatt tree. The first year it was bitter sweet for me, and the last two years have been less bitter and more sweet. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing just what you need to be doing right now. Grieving. It's painful, I know, but it's only going through it that you will ever come out on the other side. Much love

Suzanne said...

Oh how I love this tree. I love all the mercy involved with preparing you for your greiving process. How you were unknowingly prompted to buy stars. How you've seen so many of them too! I love the thought of all the work Heavenly Father put into the creation of each of those stars, and timed each of their little lifetimes perfectly so they could bouy (sp) you up a the exact right moment. Oh how intricate our lives are. How detailed our creator is.

I love the thought that Angels speak through the power of the holy ghost. So, many of the promptings you received can be directly from the very baby that possibly knows you better than any Angel up there right now. He is working so hard in the service of our Heavenly Father. I am just sure his top priority is taking care of your little family. I am just sure of it.

There is order in the Kingdom, and while you and I know there are instances in the scriptures where we hear the actual voice of the Savior or Heavenly Father, I believe many and maybe even most times he uses his faithful servants to deliver his important messages.

Would not Wyatt be amoung his most pure and faithful servants? I don't think you are crazy at all for thinking to Wyatt...

...

He "thinks" to you all the time.

Jen G. said...

Absolutely beautiful. With tears in my eyes, I love it.

Jill said...

You know you'll get one from us! Love you!

neener said...

I am so glad you took a picture of the tree. I loved Michelle's idea and it helps with the other children we have. My kids are looking forward to decorating ours... Much love to you and your family as you are going through your first's. We are thinking of you lots. This will be our 3rd xmas and it is so much better as I feel I am healing inside and I feel Tanner nearer. This is truly a blessed season. I will be sending you a star.

carolyn q said...

The tree is beautiful!
Okay, I will be sending you a star. If you would like I could use an Angel for Hope's tree from you. Every year I add new Angels to her tree.
I am glad that you had such a wonderful experience in seeing that magnificient shooting star. I am a believer that Wyatt wants you to know of his love for you.
(((HUGS)))

Leanne said...

It's been a while since I have checked blogs, but I am so glad I did tonight, I am so excited to find an ornament for Wyatt's tree. I hope you call me this month, and let me know if you need a night at the spa, I know December is so crazy, so it's ok if we don't get there, but I hope you will let me know, I am always glad I took the time out to work out!

The Holland Family said...

Andrea- Your story about stars touched my heart tonite. Thank you for sharing it. I had a very similar tender mercy with butterflies and Mia. I think that if we are aware of these things, they are our own personal comforts. I can't tell you how often I needed (and still need) to see a butterfly and sure enough there it is. I hope to share some of these experiences with you in person soon. I come to your town often, so lets meet up. I think you should copy and paste your post to the Angel Blog. - hugs Nicole Holland - Mia's mom ^i^

Gillian said...

You did have a Thanksgiving miracle. I can just imagine how amazing that shooting star was---what a special experience. A star is a perfect symbol and reminder to look upward and keep our focus on the eternal.
I'm so glad you are decorating a Wyatt tree---such a sweet memorial. I'm on the hunt for the perfect ornament for it.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Lots of love--

Natalie said...

The tree is beautiful! I think it is such a wonderful idea! I'll be sending you one soon! Love you!

Jon and Jessica Bryant said...

You'll be getting one from us! It was good to see you on Thanksgiving for that little bit. We can't wait to see you during Christmas. Your amazing. Love you!

Felipe and Erika said...

We'd love to send one.

Have you heard the new Taylor Swift song, I heard it for the first time today and I couldn't stop thinking of you - - -it reminded me of you and Wyatt:) I love you.

Nathan Gedge said...

Andrea,
What a beautiful tree and great idea to put up a tree in his room. I love that you have that space to think of him and feel him close to you.