Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Last Week

The Christmas display at the Bellagio

I actually had an OK week last week. I guess I needed that so I could get all the things done that I needed to. I'm grateful for those moments when the grief lifts for a while. I feel like the snow we received last week was a tender mercy. We don't get snow here usually so to have it come and actually stay for a while was a tender mercy for me. It helped me get into the Christmas spirit so I could create some memories for my kids. The kids even had a day off from school because of the snow. We spent time making snow men, having snow ball fights and Derek and I took a walk at night in the winter wonderland. I enjoyed watching the snow flakes fall to the ground. I'm enjoying these simple things of life more than ever. It was a neat few days with the fireplace going and Christmas music playing and kids enjoying the beautiful snow. Which before this time was a hard thing for me to do.
We then went to Las Vegas for the Las Vegas bowl that BYU was playing in. Emily performed in the half time show. It ended up being a great experience for her. We had fun as a family enjoying the time we spent with each other. To have Derek all to ourselves for a few days was wonderful. I was able to put the grief on a shelf for a few days and it was nice. But then getting home and having the grief there waiting was not a pleasant thing. I guess I had a weeks worth of tears to catch up on. My thoughts and feelings have been running overboard since getting home and there is so much I could express but I won't. My arms ache as usual, my mind is trying to make sense of my life right now and I simply miss my baby! I think the reality that Wyatt won't be here for this Christmas and each and everyone after this is hitting me hard.
Snow fun

Las Vegas Bowl

Las Vegas Temple

1 comment:

Jill said...

Looks like a fun trip! Emily looks cute. I'm sure she had fun and did great! I'm glad you had a good little get away. Thinking of you... a lot the next few days.