Saturday, December 13, 2008

9 months/Remembering Zach/Piano, Dance and more Ornaments

Wyatt a year ago
It's been 9 months today since Wyatt passed away. I can't believe I've lived for that many months without him in my life. It just doesn't seem real. It worries me that the further away I get from the day he died the greater are the expectations that I should be "over it." I should be doing better by now. Yes, I can see improvement from those first few months but my arms still ache. My heart feels broken and I long even more to hold him again. The further from that day is that much longer since I've held him. It's hard. It's beyond hard! This time of year doesn't make things any easier. I miss him so much! It's just not fair!
What a happy little guy. This picture is kind of blurry because he was so happy and moving but I love it!

Today was angel Zachary's birthday. He would have been 2 years old. It just breaks my heart to know that his mom is aching like I am to hold her little boy again. He died exactly one month before Wyatt. We released balloons with gifts of something we could work on attached to the balloons. We released them at Wyatt's grave in Zach's memory. We were glad to be able to be a part of remembering such a sweet and special little guy. We are thinking of you and praying for you Ashtons!

Sweet little Zach

At Wyatt's grave.

On Thursday night Tyler and Emily had a piano recital. They both did a wonderful job.

Tyler looks thrilled to be there.
Hayley had a dance performance at Tuacahn. She did great and was soooo cute! A first in the Larsen family happened that night. Hayley willingly and wanted to sit on Santa's lap. There were no tears or persuasion. A first in our family. She wouldn't talk to Santa but sat on his lap happily. Tyler and Emily never would do that. So, I was so excited to finally get a picture with Santa.

With her friend Lydia.Her teddy bear dance. She is holding the bear my niece Elyse gave us to put on Wyatt's grave for his birthday. We just couldn't put it on his grave because it was so cute and would get ruined so we have added it to Wyatt's room. Hayley has become really attached to it.
First ever Santa picture.

And today I received two more ornaments. One from a dear friend Janelle and one from Suzanne in China. Thank you everyone! We are so grateful for all the thought and effort that has been put into each and every ornament. It means so much to us.

All the way from China...thank you Suzanne.Thanks Janelle--I love it!

Wyatt's grave with his little Christmas tree.


Suzanne said...

I'm glad you got the ornament :). I'm sure your Wyatt tree is so pretty. What a great idea!

Jill said...

Those pictures of Hay are so cute! What a doll. I'm glad you're getting loads of ornaments for Wyatt's tree. There are many who love and are praying for you.

I'm thinking I'll give you ours when we're down south this weekend. What are your plans? We'll be in St. George at the condo on Friday night. We'll be in Vegas all day Saturday, but I'm not going to the game. I didn't know Em was performing. That's awesome! I probably would've got a ticket for me if I would've known. That's fun for her. Anyway, maybe we could meet somewhere in Vegas? We'll be staying at the condo until Sunday.

Robyn said...

What cute pictures. Hayley is beautiful. She should be the angel in the nativity this year. My ornament should be coming this week. I hope you are doing well. I'm sending extra prayers! I love you!

Natalie said...

I love Hayley's dance outfit. She is such a cutie. Good job to Tyler and Em on their recital. I never liked them much either! The ornament are beautiful. I'm sending mine today. Love you!

The G Fam said...

I just spent some time catching up on your blog. My e-mail is (or you could use my yahoo account). I know it is kind of late, but I would love to send a little ornament. I know how hard it is to be grateful but to be mourning. My experience from now having to spend two Christmases after the loss of a child is that the pain never goes away. There seems to be times where it is not so severe or does not hurt quite so much, but how can you help but mourn someone you carried inside of you,someone you love more than words can express. I do not expect anyone to get over a loss. It is a part of them for forever, as Wyatt is your forever. Anyways, know you are amongst people who understand, people who know the heartache but are praying for you.
Heart hugs,
P.S. Merry Christmas.

Gillian said...

Thank you for joining us on Saturday to remember Zach. It means SO MUCH to me. I have felt so much support from you over these past months and I'm grateful for you every day. I'm so glad you went to Wyatt's grave. You and your family mean so much to me.