"Attempting to console those who have lost loved ones or endured serious trials
by saying it will be better in the next life tends to minimize their immediate
pain; 'It's like you are in a desert and you are dying of thirst, and someone
says Yes, you can have a drink, but not for thirty years!'"
I have had a pile of Wyatt's things in my room since he died. This pile is all of the things I've found since he died around the house. It's also all the last things he wore or I washed after he died. I had it right next to my bed for quite some time. I then moved it to the corner. Yesterday I decided to move his things to his room. I also decided to fill up the hutch in his room with all of his clothes, blankets, toys, shoes that have been in a cedar chest downstairs. I felt like I need his things closer to me--more accessible. My friend Denine had made a sweet memorial in her bedroom with all of Tanner's things. After seeing that I decided I needed that in Wyatt's room so if my kids want to spend a few moments thinking of their brother they can go in there and hold his things and look at his pictures. I enjoyed spending time yesterday folding up his clothes again. Many tears were shed. So many lost dreams. Each time I do laundry for the family I feel that void as I don't get to fold up his cute little clothes anymore. As I've said before I really don't want to sugar coat things. This is a hard thing that we are having to go through. It's going to be hard for a while and I guess I'm OK with that. I feel like I need time to get through this "grief work". In this book "Jesus Wept" they say:
"Grief work will likely become the hardest work we will ever do. It will extractI know I have to "feel" it to "heal" it and that is going to take time. Thanks to so many of you for staying with me through the thick of it all.
more time, patience, and energy than most of us expect or feel capable of
I bought this table as a birthday gift to Wyatt. I guess that was my justification for buying it but I wanted something to put his lamp on and make is room more inviting.