Sunday, November 23, 2008
Our little girl turned 4 yesterday. Oh, how excited she was. The first thing we did was have her open her presents and had her birthday breakfast. We then made preparations for her princess birthday party. She had 5 little princesses come to her party. It was a lot of fun. They made necklaces, decorated crowns and cupcakes, played pin the crown on the princess and bibidee bobbedee boo, they danced with ribbon wands and had cake and ice cream. Hayley had the time of her life. She loved decorating the cupcakes and opening all of the fun presents her friends brought her. We then went to a park to meet a friend and then had a pizza party at Grandma and Grandpa's condo while watching the BYU game. Other than the BYU game it was a fun and memorable day one I hope we never forget. We are so grateful to have Hayley in our family. She is such a happy little girl which is such a blessing to us. We need her sunshine personality each and everyday. We love our Hayley!
Posted by Andrea at 3:35 PM
Friday, November 21, 2008
A time to be born, and a time to die; ....A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; . . .
[A] time to embrace..
[Ecclesiastes 3:12, 45, 7]
Posted by Andrea at 8:14 PM
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Posted by Andrea at 12:04 AM
Posted by Andrea at 12:03 AM
Friday, November 14, 2008
"Attempting to console those who have lost loved ones or endured serious trials
by saying it will be better in the next life tends to minimize their immediate
pain; 'It's like you are in a desert and you are dying of thirst, and someone
says Yes, you can have a drink, but not for thirty years!'"
I have had a pile of Wyatt's things in my room since he died. This pile is all of the things I've found since he died around the house. It's also all the last things he wore or I washed after he died. I had it right next to my bed for quite some time. I then moved it to the corner. Yesterday I decided to move his things to his room. I also decided to fill up the hutch in his room with all of his clothes, blankets, toys, shoes that have been in a cedar chest downstairs. I felt like I need his things closer to me--more accessible. My friend Denine had made a sweet memorial in her bedroom with all of Tanner's things. After seeing that I decided I needed that in Wyatt's room so if my kids want to spend a few moments thinking of their brother they can go in there and hold his things and look at his pictures. I enjoyed spending time yesterday folding up his clothes again. Many tears were shed. So many lost dreams. Each time I do laundry for the family I feel that void as I don't get to fold up his cute little clothes anymore. As I've said before I really don't want to sugar coat things. This is a hard thing that we are having to go through. It's going to be hard for a while and I guess I'm OK with that. I feel like I need time to get through this "grief work". In this book "Jesus Wept" they say:
"Grief work will likely become the hardest work we will ever do. It will extractI know I have to "feel" it to "heal" it and that is going to take time. Thanks to so many of you for staying with me through the thick of it all.
more time, patience, and energy than most of us expect or feel capable of
I bought this table as a birthday gift to Wyatt. I guess that was my justification for buying it but I wanted something to put his lamp on and make is room more inviting.
Posted by Andrea at 1:30 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
The day Tyler was getting home from Williamsburg Hayley was so excited(actually we were all excited but didn't show it like Hayley did). She was jumping up and down and dancing saying "Tyler missed me so much" and "I missed him so much." "I can't wait to see him." There were lots of hugs given when we finally got to see Tyler again. I had to think of the day when we get to be with Wyatt again and how exciting that will be...for both Wyatt and us. Can't wait for that day!
Posted by Andrea at 9:55 AM
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Each time I go somewhere or do something that I wouldn't have been doing if Wyatt were here I feel a sense of guilt or a sense of wishing I wasn't doing it because that would mean Wyatt was still in my life(if that makes sense). A week after Wyatt's funeral we went as a family to California. My sweet Emily pointed out to me a few times during that trip that if Wyatt hadn't died we wouldn't be there. She was so right. We wouldn't have. Derek and I wouldn't have gone to Maui if Wyatt hadn't have died and I wouldn't have spent a week with friends in California. I'm grateful for all of these experiences that have truly helped me on the path of healing but on the other hand I wish so bad I wouldn't have had the opportunity to go because Wyatt was still in my life. I would do anything to have him back. Hopefully that makes some sense.
On a side note....while in California we were able to see the anger and hatred of those opposed to proposition 8. We were in Beverly Hills at a stop light when a group of very angry people marched right in front of us. Yelling and screaming about what they felt was right. They were mad that proposition 8 had passed. There were police everywhere. I saw one man stick up for what he thought was right which was opposite from what these people thought --they attacked him verbally. I was concerned they might attack him physically as well. You could visibly see the anger in their eyes. I was so impressed with this man that he would stick up all by himself for what he believed in, with a mob of angry people yelling and swearing at him. It was eye opening to see such passion, anger and hatred toward a perfect stranger. I know there have been many LDS members in California having to experience this anger and hatred first hand. We are living in challenging times...the second coming doesn't seem as far off to me after witnessing that. Which for me means I will be with my Wyatt sooner rather than later.(yes, I have a distorted view now--I do not fear the second coming....I want it to come quickly)
Posted by Andrea at 4:32 PM
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
"From the beginning down through the dispensations, God has used angels as His emissaries in conveying love and concern for His children....Usually such beings are not seen. Sometimes they are. But seen or unseen they are always near. Sometimes their assignments are very grand and have significance for the whole world. Sometimes the messages are more private. Occasionally the angelic purpose is to warn. But most often it is to comfort, to provide some form of merciful attention, guidance in difficult times."
"We are reminded that not all angels are from the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with—here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods... Indeed heaven never seems closer than when we see the love of God manifested in the kindness and devotion of people so good and so pure that angelic is the only word that comes to mind."How grateful I am for the "seen" angels in my life. The ones that have helped during times of despair. The one's that have lifted me up and helped me get through another day without my Wyatt. For wonderful neighbors that came into our home and filled our fridge with food, cleaned our house and prepared Wyatt's room for our arrival after his death. For all the meals, cards, presents, flowers, etc. etc. I could go on and on with all the kindnesses that people showed to us. How grateful I am for the love we felt from family and friends and the love we continue to feel from so many. How grateful I am for the loving and supportive people that I've meet online. I'm especially grateful for the angelic husband that I have that is so patient and loving to me. How grateful I am for each and every angel that has touched my life--those seen and unseen.
Posted by Andrea at 1:10 AM