Tuesday, October 14, 2008

One year ago

I knew it would be hard to get back from vacation but I didn't realize how hard it would be. I was able to put the grief away for a bit but it was waiting for me when I got home. I guess being away from my kids and returning made Wyatt's absence even more profound for me. It was a sweet reunion as we hugged each other. But there was something missing...Wyatt. It will be a glorious day when we are all together again as a family. As we were sitting around at the bar eating lunch on Saturday the empty bar stool where Wyatt should be stood out more than it ever has.

Yesterday was an especially hard day. 7 months since Wyatt passed away. Also, a year ago yesterday was Wyatt's baby blessing and Emily's baptism. I hadn't remembered that it was on the 13th of last year until Emily pointed that out to me. Little did I know a year ago that I would only have 5 more months with my baby. I found the journal page I had made for Wyatt's scrapbook it was exactly a year ago today that I wrote this. I've taken out what I had remembered about his blessing but included everything else. Looking back at a year ago I had not idea in the world that he wouldn't be here and that I would be mourning his absence. Oh, it's just so hard.

October 14, 2007

You were born on Friday, September 21st at 7:42am. Your mom and dad were thrilled to have you here. Your older brother and sisters were extremely excited to finally meet you. You weighed 6 lbs. 14 oz. and was 20 1/2 inches long. You had a little trouble breathing the first few hours and you were on oxygen to help you breath but you were soon able to breath on your own.
You are truly a gift from heaven! You are absolutely perfect. Your mom fell in love with you the second she saw you. You are a cherished gift from our Heavenly Father. You have brought such incredible happiness and joy to our family and we feel so blessed to have you as part of our family. You seem so small to us and we are enjoying just holding and looking at your tiny features. You are held all the time with your brother, sisters and parents constantly enjoying you.
Yesterday you were given a name and a blessing by your dad. It was an extra special day because your sister Emily was baptized at the same time. Your dad gave you such a neat blessing. Your grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins were there to enjoy this special occasion. You were passed around all day with everyone enjoying you. It was an absolutely beautiful day with incredible weather, wonderful friends and family.
Wyatt we are so grateful to have you in our life. You are so much fun! We are cherishing every little thing you do. We love you so much and are so grateful that you are part of our life. You are truly a gift from Heaven!

October 14, 2008

Oh, how we miss the joy you brought to our family. The completeness we felt and the happiness that radiated in our home. You are missed every second of the day and night. Oh, how we look forward to the day with hope and joy when you are in our arms again. You are now a gift in heaven waiting for each of us to return. How we anticipate enjoying you once again. We miss and love you Wyatt!


Jill said...

Thanks for sharing those journal entries! How sweet that Emily remembered. Imagine how it will feel to go home and have Wyatt to welcome you back!! I'm sure he's excited for that day as well.

Marc and Megan said...

Andrea, I really appreciated reading this entry today... thank you for sharing your feelings. We just got back from vacation, too, and I wasn't anticipating how hard coming back home would be. It has been a couple of really hard days for me... and it makes me feel more normal realizing it's been the same for you. I hope you continue to be filled with special moments that build you back up and help you get through this new valley in the grieving process. I'm always thinking of you.

Natalie said...

My heart hurts for you Andrea! Thank you for sharing those entries and showing your strong testimony with every post you do!

Suzanne said...

Hello Andrea!
Aren't you so happy to have journaled that experience?! And how neat to keep a record for all heaven and earth to read about the love of this mother! Oh how you love your Wyatt. How blessed that reunion will be, when everything will be restored as promised.

Eileen said...

Again, I have no words but: "I'm so sorry."

Thank you for the reminder of the importance of journaling. What sweet, tender words. You are loved.

Leanne said...

oh how I love to read your entries, it just makes my spirit feel so close to heaven, and I need that every day! Tyler's butterfly was just absolutely beautiful, what an amazing boy he is.