Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I find myself relying on the "eternal perspective" of things everyday. Before Wyatt died I would think of eternal things but not nearly as much as I do now. I really don't think a day goes by without me thinking about what really matters in the grand scale of things. There is comfort in this for me. I have relied on the hope of the resurrection everyday since Wyatt died as you can tell by many of my posts. I can envision that day in my mind and how glorious it will be. I feel like a broken record but it's what helps me make it through this difficult time.
I have had some real ups and downs the last few days. It's part of the grief roller coaster that I'm on. There are times that I just have to not think or feel. It's my only way to survive and then when I have a moment to think and feel the flood gates open and I have to release the sorrow and grief that's inside me. It's very hard!
When we went to the cemetery for Wyatt's burial the man from the mortuary let me spend a few moments alone with my Wyatt inside the hearse. He took the top off of his coffin so I could spend a few moments with my baby. It was one of those sweet tender mercies I received that week. One I had not expected. I had a moment by myself to say my goodbyes to my baby. I took a picture in my mind of him and what he looked like. I told him how much I will miss him and how much I love him. I then told him how much I will be looking forward to having him again on resurrection morning. I gave him my last kiss until that glorious day. It was a sweet moment I will never forget. So when grief takes over and I'm in one of those dark moments I close my eyes and envision the last picture in my mind of Wyatt in the hearse and think of the joy and happiness I will feel resurrection morning when he is alive again and in my arms. The spirit then comforts me and lets me know that this indeed will happen and it will be more glorious than I can even imagine. I then grasp hold of the "eternal perspective" of things and realize what's important in my life right now.
Posted by Andrea at 12:04 AM