Tuesday, June 10, 2008

"Wishes"

Today has been an especially hard day--actually the last few have been. I have added a bunch to my tear soup. I guess I had a weeks worth of tears to add to my pot. We are back home not at the condo now and I'm struggling. I miss Wyatt so much I can't even describe it. I just wish I could have my life back like it was a few months ago. I wish I had my Wyatt back. I wish I could hear him cry again. I wish I could hold his hand. I wish I kiss his little cheeks. I wish I could make him laugh. I wish, I wish, I wish...... I could go on and on with all the wishes I wished but that's when I realize that those wishes will not come true in this life. That's when I take hold of my sweet Emily's hand and hold it extra tight. That's when I kiss Hayley's little cheeks and hug Tyler just a little bit harder and longer. And then I get on my knees and thank my Heavenly Father for my sweet husband and kids and for the chance I had to enjoy Wyatt for the few months I did.

10 comments:

Robyn said...

Andrea,
I love the sweet pictures you have of Wyatt. I am so sorry for your pain. I wish grief wasn't so hard. I wish I lived close to you. I wish I could give you a hug. I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain! I am so thankful for a wonderful friend who is willing to share her testimony so that mine can be strengthened. You are so amazing! Thank you for blessing my life.

Mindy said...

I wish with all my heart that I could make your pain and sorrow go away. You are so strong, and your testimony is inspiring. i find myself thinking about you all the time. I want to send you all the good vibes that you need. i wish I could say the exact thing to make you feel better. Know that I love you, and I am ALWAYS thinking of you and your family.

Jill said...

I wish all your wishes with you! I also wish you could realize how much you and your family are loved and thought of. I was with Jake this last week and thought of Wyatt pretty much every day we spent with him. I got teary a few times thinking of him. Such a precious age. What a blessing to have been able to see his little personality begin to show. We love you Andrea! Keep adding to your tear soup. I join in often.

Jon and Jessica Bryant said...

Andrea you are amazing. I love being able to read about how you feel and how strong your testimony is! I wish I could give you a huge hug! You are so strong and really help me understand what life is about. The pictures of Wyatt are so adorable. We are by your side and we love you!

neener said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
neener said...

I have been thinking about you today. Our Aunt Linda is visiting in Alberta today and it reminded me of you. I wish I could meet you and give you a big hug and let you know everything is going to be alright.....but you and I know it is just going to be different without them. I love what you wrote about your other children, I have studied their faces deeply just to see my son's image in their countanance. They all look the same and it helps me feel my son a little closer. I wish you all the comfort you need today. We don't live for the day, we live for the moments.

Jen G. said...

Andrea, hang in there. You obviously have many people who love and care about you and your family. And you know, I add to your and my tear soup often. It helps to know someone else is making the soup with you.
Love,
Jen

drans007 said...

Please know I am always here to talk to or cry with. I love you and your family and I thank my Heavenly Father daily for you and ask him to bless and watch over your family and give you the peace you deserve.

John and Leanne said...

thanks for inviting me to your post. When I read the part about you seeing mothers and their babies in the swimming pool, and then you saw a butterfly, I cried, how comforting and amazing that is!! I will always have a Wyatt moment when I see a butterfly.

Felipe & Erika said...

Oh, Andrea I wish I could make your wishes come true. Each time I read your blog a lump forms in my throat and tears fill me eyes. I look at your family picture, listen to that sweet song and see Wyatt on your lap and my heart aches for you. I love how you mentioned that you hold Emily's hand a little longer, kiss Hayley's cheeks more often and hug Tyler tighter. Those statements really impacted me. Andrea you are truly touching my life by your faith and insight. I love you and pray for your heart daily and can't wait to see you tomorrow:)