Sunday, May 18, 2008

"Tear Soup"

Well, the sorrow and grief is back. All day Saturday and today I have felt the heaviness of grief. We swam most of the day Saturday but I just didn't feel like myself like I did on Friday. My sweet friend Stephanie Lyman suggested a picture book for me to read it's titled "Tear Soup". It's a great little book that describes so much of what I'm feeling and going through right now. I'm making a huge pot of tear soup right now. I didn't know I had so many tears in me. I think I have cried everyday since Wyatt died. Thank you to so many of you that have cried with me and adding to my "tear soup." I miss Wyatt so much I can't even describe it or put it into words. Every ounce of my being aches to have him back into my life. He brought such happiness and joy into my life and that is missing now. I am very grateful for Tyler, Emily and Hayley and of course my sweet, understanding and loving husband. I am blessed but that still doesn't take away the pain, sorrow and emptiness I'm feeling right now. I'm sorry this post isn't very upbeat but I just needed to let it out. I miss him too much! I've added some of my favorite pictures of Wyatt.

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11 comments:

Natalie said...

I love you Andrea! I am adding to your tear soup right now. My prayers are with you. Don't be sorry for not being upbeat. You should never be sorry for how you feel. Love always!

Jill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jill said...

I'm adding more tears for your healing soup! I love you Andrea! I cry for you and Wyatt often. I'm so glad you're not afraid to feel however you feel whenever you feel it. Keep it up! If you're mad, be mad. If you're sad, be sad. If you happy...dang it! Be happy! Don't let anyone tell you differently.

Robyn said...

Andrea,
I am definitely adding to your tear soup with you! My heart aches for you. You are such a fun mom to let your kids skip school! You and Derek are in our prayers. And...don't ever apologize for your feelings. I love you and I am sending hugs and a listening ear through this email! (I'll call you in the morning!)

Linda said...

Ron and I have been sitting here crying while we are reading your blog. We would love to be able to give you a big hug right now. We love you!

drans007 said...

Dear Andrea and Derek! WE LOVE YOU! I too have lost a loved one very dear to my life and remember those first months and actual years. Please know I love and honor you, for your sharing, for your incredible family, for setting an example in so many ways. Andrea, would love to share sometime with ya. Letting you know our shoulders are here anytime for you and the family with hugs, cries, and any support and love we can give. I will conclude and say this...I know angels are real, I know the power of healing and comfort. With all our love as a family to yours,
Trent and Andrea Dransfield

jvance said...

Andrea - I am so glad you are doing this blog because it sure helps us to understand better how you are feeling. The ups and downs are so drastic right now - I hope the ups start to occur more often and that you continue to recognize tender merices and Wyatt moments. We all love you and wish we could take away your pain. I can't wait until summer starts so we can spend more time together.

Elyse said...

I've been thinking about you all day today-I hope today went better for you. I loved the pics of the kids hiking-I can't believe how much bigger they get every time I see them. Lots of love all of us

Amanda said...

Hey Andrea!!! I didn't get to read your blog until I got home from North Carolina on Sunday and heard Grandma Grandpa and my parents talking about it. I love reading it! I cried the whole time but it was because of the strength I have seen in you and your family during everything that happened. Your family is an amazing!! I was so blessed to be going to school down there. I am so grateful that I got to spend as much time as I did with Wyatt and your whole family. I love you guys sooo much! My testimony that Families are Forever has grown because of the faith and strength that I have seen in you. Thank you for that! I love you so much andrea!!!

Jill said...

Me and Mands had a Wyatt moment last night. We were sitting outside Amanda's car (because she locked her keys in yet again) and a white butterfly pretty much attacked us! We thought of you and Wyatt! We love you!

Felipe & Erika said...

I think of you everyday too:) I am so grateful for your blog too. I think that sometimes I have fallen into the category of someone who doesn't know what to say and so I don't say anything, feeling like how can I say anything if I don't know how they feel. But now I realize through talking with you that the most important thing is not what you say but just letting them know you are thinking of them and loving them. Being able to peek into your heart through your blog has touched me more than you'll ever know. I love you, think of you so often, pray for you. I am so grateful you had such a great day on Friday. Sarah calls those "love notes" from Heavenly Father. I hope I can see you soon.
ERIKA