Thursday, May 22, 2008

"It just hurts!"

This has been a hard week. Maybe because Wyatt would have been 8 months old yesterday. Maybe because I've been sick. Maybe because we went and bought stuff for his grave. It's been hard! While picking out stuff for Wyatt's grave there were babies at the store about Wyatt's age and that is hard. It hurts to not have him with me anymore. It hurts to see others with what I want so bad. It hurts to think I'm having to decorate my babies grave. IT JUST HURTS! I joined a group about a month ago online. It's a group of people that have lost a child or children at Primary Children's hospital from a heart condition. There are only 12 members at this time. It's been really good for me to see that I'm not the only one suffering right now. It didn't just happen to me. One of the ladies posted this quote yesterday and I really liked it. It says "We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full." Marcel Proust. It hurts to go through this suffering that I'm going through but it's the only way to heal. Another quote I like is "The best way out is always through." How grateful I am to so many wonderful family members and friends. Thank you for your love and support at this time. These are some of the many pictures of Wyatt that I have. I love it because he is chewing on his thumb. He did this all the time. He didn't suck his thumb like I wanted him to but he would chew on it. I remember taking this picture and trying to get one before he would stick his thumb back into his mouth. Oh, how I miss that! I'm glad we get to go to Orem this weekend. My sister gave me a tile with the saying..."Family is being with those that put your heart at ease..." How true that is to me right now.

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Jill said...

I love that quote..."experiencing to the full." I'm so proud of you for doing that. You embrace your feelings in such a healthy way, and you express them. You're amazing! Cute Pictures!

Natalie said...

You amaze me everytime Andrea! I love that quote as well. To me that is applies because of the atonement. Christ knows exactly how you are feeling and the pain you are going through. He more then anyone else on this earth knows how much you love wyatt and the hurt from losing a little one. I'm so glad you made this blog. I think that is one very healthy way to grieve, by sharing and expressing how you feel. Thank you for letting me learn from you during this difficult time. I love you always!